Hazy view from the pew of a church service: People are standing, some with hands upraised, before "Jesus" written in huge block letters on a massive white screen.

The world in church clothing

Lord Jesus, show me when the church is not the church, but instead, the world in church clothing. Show me when a system is competing with you for my heart.

Red, pink and white rose petals, along with tiny yellow leaves, lie scattered on gray paving stones

To the exiles scattered by toxic church

Maybe the church has become bewildering to you. Leaders you trusted and people you respected are acting in ways that do not reflect who Jesus is, nor what they profess to believe. They have turned on anyone among them who appears to threaten the status quo. What is going on?

Seen through raindrops on glass, a hazy view of a weak sun in a sky full of gray clouds. Also hazy: the black silhouette of dark, hilly, overgrown terrain with what appears to be a church steeple rising behind it.

Witchcraft in the church

In the church, those obsessed with manipulating, intimidating and dominating can pose as those serving God. And we can be very fooled for a very long time.

Against a snowy background stands a black iron gate, locked with multiple padlocks of different colors and shapes.

Shunning in the church

Any group that shuns is withholding your deepest needs in order to control you. That’s the opposite of loving you. It’s people you trusted, trying to erase you.

White hatchback car, sitting at a gas pump in the dark

The most unwanted assignment

  • Post category:My Story
  • Post last modified:November 4, 2023

Sitting in my car at that gas station on that winter afternoon, staring at Isaiah 58:1, I began to cry ... Oh. Lord. Not. This. Assignment.

Back view of woman with brimmed straw hat, standing in field of tall grass, her arms outstretched at her side, her face toward the setting (or rising?) sun

Cries of the shunned

In the middle of that dark-valley time, I often found myself alone with God, crying aloud and writing passionately in my journal. During that time too, I came to identify with David, the shepherd-poet-warrior-king, in ways I had not before. For David was also ostracized by people he trusted. And he cried out in distress - and in faith.

From cover of Return to Your Rest: new growth on a tree, with slender green leaves

The blessing of rest

Real rest is so different from what I had thought. It’s so much more expansive, and desirable, and enjoyable. And it’s so very vital. Thing is, I desperately needed real rest long before I knew I needed it. I had no clue how rest-deprived I was.