#churchtoo

White dove in a golden cage against a black background. The dove holds an olive branch in its beak.

Love story? Fairy-tale life? The abuse in Esther

Post published:April 11, 2025
Post category:From: The Esther Blessing Trauma and Grief
Post last modified:September 24, 2025

Have we seen Queen Esther as a beloved wife, living a fairy-tale life? If so, we’ve missed the abuse in her story and a surprising key to reigning in life.

Head shot of abused woman partly turned from camera with her face in her hands. Large, disembodied hands are about to grab her head. Drawings of arrows depict more abuse coming at her from all sides.

Illusionists! The abusers we have not seen

Post published:August 17, 2023
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:June 7, 2025

Some illusionists fool us to amuse us. Abusers and abusive systems fool us to control us. Freedom and life hinge on seeing the illusionists we have not seen.

In a church sanctuary with vaulted ceiling, the carpeted center aisle runs past rows of empty wooden pews, toward a tall stained-glass window at the center front and an elaborate drum set on the platform.

Nat Arnett / freeimages.com

Beware the illusion of refuge: Abuse in the church

Post published:December 12, 2022
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:June 7, 2025

Leaders in our church systems can create an illusion that refuge for the abused exists, where it does not. How can we recognize when this is happening?

Shhh. Closeup of woman's index finger raised to her mouth in silencing gesture.

#SilenceIsNotSpiritual – except when it is

Post published:March 7, 2018
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:March 16, 2024

I believe in breaking the silence of secrecy that abusers impose. I also believe that, for a survivor, silence is sometimes the most spiritual choice.