A future filled with hope

Door to hope: An open door welcomes you into a sun room filled with plants and light.

It’s the best-loved verse in Jeremiah, and God says it to exiles. He announces to people who feel they have no future at all:

“I know what I have planned for you,” says the Lord. “I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope” (Jer. 29:11 NET).

In Jeremiah’s day, the exiles had been uprooted by hostile, controlling people. They had been forsaken by greedy, self-serving people. But also: God had acted, to work redemptively in their behalf. And he uttered Jeremiah 29:11 as part of a longer message that began:

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile (v. 4).

If we would experience the good God has planned for us, we must take the whole of Jeremiah 29 to heart.

Receive the whole message

In this series “To the exiles scattered”:

We’ve seen that exile can happen emotionally and spiritually, as well as physically. If you have been isolated by toxicity, abuse, bullying or shunning – even, and especially, in the church – Jeremiah 29 holds out a future to you.
We’ve seen God’s design for exile: To accomplish something glorious within you that leads to ever-increasing intimacy with God himself.

In Jeremiah 29:11, our Lord promises something too wonderful for any one English word to capture. He promises shattered people shalom.

Sometimes in Scripture, this Hebrew word is translated “prosperity.” Most often, it’s translated “peace.” Shalom means both, and also: wholeness, safety, health, quiet, contentment, favor, friendship and well-being. Now that’s a future to hope for!

Announcing his plans, the Lord says up front: It’s going to take a while to get there.

He also says: Here’s what to do in the meantime to open yourself fully to the good I intend.

The instructions God gives in Jeremiah 29 may sound normal, logical, even inviting – unless you’ve been uprooted and forsaken. Then, they don’t sound inviting at all. Rather, they seem exhausting, overwhelming, impossible. Your first response to each might be, “No!”

But please, hang in there past that initial, “No!” Wait for the deeper response within you, the response in your spirit to God’s Spirit. And while you wait, consider what he says.

Live where you are

Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce (vv. 4-5).

Translation for the exiles scattered today? Don’t put your life on hold. This may be the hardest place you’ve ever been, a place you never dreamed you would be. But this is where you are. So live, really live, in this place.

Sure, you can spend every minute of every day wishing you were somewhere else. You can go through the motions of living, while everything in you tries to figure a way out. You can even work to make that happen.

For your own good, don’t do that. Instead, take practical steps to plant your life and your heart where you are. For here is where the Lord will meet you now.

If you choose to live where you are, you will not prolong your time there. Rather, you will make the most of it. You will enjoy the fruit of it. You will be ready when the time comes to leave.

Build family

Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease” (v. 6).

In other words: Build long-term relationships with people of like heart.

Don’t hurry.

Real relationships are built one-by-one over time. So don’t run to this church or that online group and expect to find your new “place.” What you’ll likely find is another version of your old place and a reenactment of, “Play your assigned role, or else.”

Also, if your exile has been caused by domestic abuse, divorce or even death of a spouse, God is not telling you to hurry out and marry again. Building family is very different from obsessing over marrying. Reread Jeremiah 29:6 and note: This is a long-term plan, a generational plan. There is nothing hurried about it!

Don’t give up before you start.

When you’ve been profoundly wounded by people you loved and trusted, building relationships may be the last thing you want to do, or feel able to do.

You may wonder if any “like hearts” exist. They do. But they may be scattered. It may take a while to find them. They may show up in unexpected ways and places. And they may not look at all as you’d have thought.

Also, you may not trust yourself to be able to tell a real relationship from a counterfeit one. For all these reasons, lay a good foundation before you even begin to build. Take time to:

be with the God who loves you and who will never abuse you or forsake you;
breathe; and let yourself feel your grief, anger, fear;
take your pain, piece-by-piece, to God; by his Spirit, learn from it and work through it;
learn yourself as never before;
learn to discern what is healthy and godly in relationships – and what is not.

Then, as relationships begin to present themselves, live out what you’ve been learning. Be alert, discerning, yet also willing to risk. Give yourself permission to stumble and to learn from it, regain your balance and try again.

In the process, you will taste hope. You’ll experience shalom. You will watch real relationships bud.

Invest yourself there

Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper (v. 7).

In this verse, Jeremiah used the word shalom three times: “Seek the shalom of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because in its shalom, you too will have shalom.”

Whether or not your exile has involved relocation, you may feel like you woke up in the Twilight Zone when you’re suddenly cut off from the community of people in which you had immersed your life.

Yet God says: Pray and work for the shalom of a community you would not have known – and would not have wanted to know – except for exile. Seek wholeness, safety, well-being, prosperity and peace for the place you might want to hate.

Again, this is a process that cannot be rushed. As you do the waiting and healing described above, begin to peek around. Notice what’s out there. Notice who is out there. Adjust your focus to see the bigger picture of life in this place and the people who inhabit it.

Then, look for ways to invest yourself there. Prayer is a simple, and powerful, way to start. Add some kind of tangible involvement as the right fit comes along.

Be aware: This command may raise even more fear and resistance in you than the other two. That’s normal. When we’ve been rejected by people we thought we knew, why would we risk involvement with people we don’t know, and may not identify with? Understanding the distress we may feel, God explains why this step is crucial:

When this place has prosperity, you will prosper. In its peace, you will have peace. When it thrives, you will thrive too.

How do you do it?

How, how, how do you do the impossible assignments above? The answer lies in the promises God attaches to his plans in Jeremiah 29:11-13.

I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord; they are plans for peace [shalom!], not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope. When you call me and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you search for me, yes, search for me with all your heart, you will find me. I will be present for you, declares the Lord, and I will end your captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have scattered you, and I will bring you home.

To live where you are, build relationships and invest yourself there: You lay hold of the truth God is speaking through his Word into your inmost being:

He sees hope and shalom in your future – and not just in your distant future, but also in your day-by-day living in the place where you are.
He sees home in your future. Exile will end. He promises it.
He sees himself in your future. He says, “I will listen to you.” “I will be present for you.”

To get to the tomorrow he promises: You recognize deep within that you need to obey him today.

To obey him today, you need his help – his grace, wisdom, strength and love.

Seeking his help, you come to him, you call on him. As he listens to you and works in your behalf, you grow to know him. You begin to seek him. When you seek him with all your heart, you find him.

And in him, you find hope and shalom and home.

Healing from toxic church – seeking what is precious, and truly God