coercive control

Bullying/mobbing: Beige wooden peg "people" grouped on dark concrete so that it appears a whole crowd is against one

Sabotage, coerce, shame: Bullying in the church

Post published:June 4, 2025
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:June 8, 2025

It’s agonizing to be bullied – and it can happen to an adult, in the church. Supposedly godly people, seeking to control, plot to sabotage, coerce, shame.

Standing beside the Rhône, looking out on the river’s quiet waters and, in shadows on the far bank, Avignon, France. Just visible, against the blue sky, the outline of the bell tower of Avignon Cathedral and the massive roofline of the Palace of the Popes.

“Burned out on religion? I will give you rest”

Post published:December 5, 2024
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:March 10, 2025

“Religion almost killed me,” she said, then paused, waiting for my response. I had no words. But I believed her – and I could identify. She saw it in my eyes.

Head shot of abused woman partly turned from camera with her face in her hands. Large, disembodied hands are about to grab her head. Drawings of arrows depict more abuse coming at her from all sides.

Illusionists! The abusers we have not seen

Post published:August 17, 2023
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:June 7, 2025

Some illusionists fool us to amuse us. Abusers and abusive systems fool us to control us. Freedom and life hinge on seeing the illusionists we have not seen.

Shhh. Closeup of woman's index finger raised to her mouth in silencing gesture.

#SilenceIsNotSpiritual – except when it is

Post published:March 7, 2018
Post category:Healing from Toxic Church
Post last modified:March 16, 2024

I believe in breaking the silence of secrecy that abusers impose. I also believe that, for a survivor, silence is sometimes the most spiritual choice.